kisstheSon

The Boys of Summer

2011-09-18T14:15:00.018-04:00

It's been a long hot summer. The mosquitoes reached an all time worse and it was the hottest summer since 1988. Asher got bit 5 times one day just going on a wagon ride to the other end of the neighborhood and back and it was at 6pm.

We went on a couple of trips. One to Mackinac island for three days and the other up to Silver Lake. The yearly Newman Family Reunion was a blast, Asher got to ride on a jet ski for the first time.

He got a balance bike for his birthday and has ridden the bike almost every day. Asher went up for a second time on a 4 seater prop plane at Oakland Airport. The first time he did it when he was 1. Asher had his first kayak ride at Uncle Bob's. His first day of pre-school was a couple weeks ago and had a special morning breakfast.

I can't believe he is already in school. Asher has a couple new friends next door. Cooper 2 and Carson 4 moved in this summer. Asher enjoys them very much and Carson always tells Asher how much he misses him if he doesn't see him for a couple of days.

Greyson had his first solid foods a couple months ago and is sitting up by himself. He enjoys biting things, trying to talk and can do a a 360 on the ground. He hasn't started to crawl but enjoys standing with assistance from the couch. I believe he got up for the first time with the help of a toy box, but unfortunately papa wasn't looking, so i can't verify this happened or not.

Kim is slaving away at home and I at work. Life with kids adds so much difficulty into ones life, but it's worth every annoying whining bit.......or so they say. Down the road it will get better, but for now embrace the exhaustion and know that all the hard work will pay off when they are model productive citizens making this world a better place. And if they aren't? I'm kicking their asses out as soon as they graduate from high school.

This last photo was on the way home from Silver Lake. Asher fell asleep playing with his pirate ship.

A Moment in Time

2011-06-04T15:18:00.002-04:00

I missed my friends wedding last Sunday. I had a bad stretch of 3 days with lack of sleep because Asher kept getting up early because he would have a BM during his nap and was also getting up early in the morning. So Sunday rolled around and I just plain forgot about it. Lack of sleep does that to the memory. I have missed other events that I normally would have never forgotten before I had kids.

So I haven't spoken to my friend yet because I'm completely embarrassed. I hate the fact that I missed one of the greatest momements in her life that she wanted to share with me and my family. I just still can't believe I missed something I was talking about 3 days before and had on my calendar 2 months ago.

I realize I need to have a huge calendar on the door leading into my garage. Something I would see everyday unless I don't leave the house.

The Legend of Pumpkin Man

2011-03-26T15:28:00.007-04:00

A mythical figure from Mennonite lore, Pumpkin Man was the defender of the crop. Some say it was a bagpipe, or Hurdy Gurdy they could hear in the field. I think I have solved that mystery. What makes a two year old want to go legend? If this isn't a passing phase I will be protecting Asher's identity for the rest of his life. This last picture was taken when Greyson heard the tune of Pumpkin Man outside on the front porch. Greyson didn't have to tell me, his eyes told me, "Pumpkin Man is here".

Vet-A-Visit

2011-03-24T22:27:00.007-04:00

Every year MSU opens their Veterinarian College up for a open house. Last year we missed it and luckily we caught it this year. Asher got to pet a tarantula. He loves spiders, but this one was a little different.
I didn't think he would do it. Maybe it was because Papa and another young girl sat there and wouldn't do it. And just when we were about to move to the dinosaur lizards, Asher quickly moved his finger up to the tarantula and touched its leg. Sorry for no flash in the picture. The guy holding the tarantula kept emphasizing about not petting it the opposite way of the flow of the hairs. He should of said no sudden movements.
Overall, Vet-A-Visit was great and we hope to make it again next year.

Pictures of Greyson

2011-03-13T23:18:00.007-04:00

Mornings Off

2011-03-13T21:15:00.008-04:00

I decided to take off 2 weeks of mornings from work to help Kim with the adjusting process from 1 to 2 children. One of my priorities was to get Asher out of the house to give Kim a break and also get some vital one on one time with Asher to let him know Greyson isn't taking up all of Mama and Papa time.

Monday we took the Element into the Honda Dealer to get some recall work done. It only took an hour. Then we were off to the MSU sheep farm to hang out with the barn cats and sheep. I think there are as many cats as sheep.

Tuesday we went to the Holt Library for some reading for kids done by the librarians. Asher tried 3 times to sit on the librarians lap while she read the books to the children. Just like he does when Mama, Papa, Grandma, Grandma and Aunt Sandy read to him.

Wednesday the whole family went to get Asher's first hair cut. Well, it was more of a trim. We don't want him to lose his baby curls.

Thursday Asher and I were off to Jumping Jax with his friend Nathaniel aka Nay Nay. Asher and Nay Nay had a run in with the "bad boys". As I conversed with another parent Asher and Nathaniel were on one of the inflatables when I heard Asher start to cry. I went over and asked what happened and Asher told me one of the two boys that were wrestling hit him. I watched one of the bad boys pull the others collar choking him as he tried to get away. I called the aggressor over to me and asked him the whereabouts of his mother. The beautiful little 3 year old then growled at me and turned around and ran off. He then went over to the slide and hit Nay Nay on the head. I had enough and grabbed the beautiful child and walked him over to a group of parents not paying any attention to where or what their kids were doing. Yes, I snitched on him to his mother. Later, I found out it might not of been his mother but the daycare employee.

Friday morning I gave Asher some karate lessons. You gotta be careful what you teach a 2 year old.

Over the weekend we went sledding on Saturday and watched Asher's second cousin William play little league hockey. Asher wanted to transform his bike helmet into a goalie helmet. Coolest goalie helmet I've ever seen, only problem is seeing the puck. Uncle Haven came into town Sunday afternoon and spent the night.

Monday morning Asher, Uncle Haven and I went to Valhalla Park. The snow still hadn't melted around the play scape. We went for a great walk through the woods. Love this park.

Kim found out from a friend that the local fire station gave private tours. I called on Wednesday and scheduled a visit for Thursday morning. I had no idea we would get an exclusive tour by the fire chief himself. Asher said he wants to be a fireman when he grows up.

Asher got his first belt. As soon as Kim put it on him he did a little dance. We named it the belt dance.

Friday it was breakfast with my friend Joel at the Pad. Interesting little restaurant. Frog memorabilia line the walls along with a huge pile of frog stuffed animals and toys Asher played with during breakfast. Hence frog leg Fridays.

And Greyson he's doing great. He's been a little under the weather, but doing fine. No pictures please!

So that sum's up the two week's of mornings I had off. Tomorrow it's back to the 8-5 grind.

Brotherly Love

2011-02-20T13:37:00.006-05:00

I came down to post about something after putting Asher asleep for his nap. I can't remember what I wanted to post? Hmmm, I'm not going to let that stop me. I'm just going to write about whatever.....

Asher is adjusting better to having a brother than Kim and I expected. We were worried he would reject him from the beginning realizing his golden days of only child just came to a grinding halt. He continually goes up to Greyson to snuggle, hug, or hold him. At times he asks us to put down Greyson so he can have a hug, but for the most part he's doing well. He even wanted Greyson to nurse from him today pulling up his shirt and reaching for his nipple. What more could a brother ask for?

Greyson is sleeping better through the night. The other night he slept from 11:30pm to 4:30am. We are a little worried he's not getting enough milk from breast feeding because he's only gained a couple of ounces. Asher bulked up immediately. As long as he's not losing weight we'll just have to wait it out a little longer. For the first time he's having problems falling asleep tonight. He's not feeling well.

Well, I still don't know what I was going to write this afternoon. Maybe later it'll come back to me. So here's a bunch of random things: Mom is getting a new vacuum cleaner. I'm being moved into a different position at work helping manage a 1600 pc roll out this year. Can't seem to stop reading about mountain bikes. Giant Trance X2 seems to be the best bike for the $2500 price range.

And whats with this $25 million dollar Strand Craft 122 super yacht. It comes with a custom built super car that has 880 hp and top speed of 230 mph. First of all, who needs a $25 million dollar yacht with 14,000 hp which includes a super car that's garaged inside it? 6 of these beasts are being built and 5 are already sold. Who are these people? Millions of people are starving in the world and these people feel the need to blow it on a super yacht. This is all the proof that one needs to know the world is wrong. I would jump ship, or should I say super yacht if I could, but unfortunately no other planets for me to live on just yet......maybe someday, but not in my generation.

Greyson Levi Newman

2011-02-03T15:48:00.001-05:00

Greyson Levi Newman arrived on 2/2/11 at 11:49AM. He was 9 lbs and 22 inches in length. 18 hours of labor. Kim is exhausted. Greyson is doing well through all the routine new baby checks. There are so many of them.

Asher saw his baby brother for the first time last night. I got the first meeting on video tape. I was a little nervous, but we had been preparing Asher for months. Asher came walking in and went straight for Mama crawling up on the bed. The first thing he asked was if he could hold his baby brother. He did really well, except for trying to touch Greyson's eyes. I can't figure out what Asher's fascination is with the eyes. He was only able to stay for an hour and a half. He had a difficult time leaving. We had to pull him off the bed from watching Sponge Bob Square Pants and holding tightly his Mama's hand.

It's going to be a tough little road for him this year getting used to not having all the attention. I can't imagine what that's like for a two year old. I went through it when I was 3 and don't remember a thing, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

It looks we'll be able to leave today around 3pm and go home. All the doctors and nurses did a wonderful job at Sparrow, but with our lack of sleep and nurses coming and going all the time from the room, I can't wait for the peace and quiet of home. Did I just say peace and quiet?

Asher Keeps Running Away

2010-04-09T15:07:00.003-04:00

We have a new problem with Asher. Sometimes he tells us bye, but most of the time he's just off to the races. Papa has proven time and time again that he can't work on a project unless Asher is helping. Inside we have to lock the screen door or out he goes. The temperature outside has no bearing in his decision to go out shoeless, diaper less, or maybe in the nude.

So what should we do? The one thing I told myself I would never use is the ugly airport leash. You've all seen it. The funny thing is now that I have a child that is constantly running away I no longer see it as a terrible device some government child rights agency should ban. I even saw one today in the hospital. How ironic since I haven't seen one of those in years.

I hate to even admit this but actually thought about the invisible fence for dogs. Yes, I thought about it once, laughed at the thought, and then thought about what if they had a child version. Now I'm going to get the your a terrible parent comments. So I thought about it once and then a little more. I'm not thinking about it now so give me a break!

Frosty the Snow Beast

2010-04-01T16:55:00.005-04:00

I’m a little late with this post. How can it be in the upper 70’s and a month ago when this photo was taken we had that much snow?

Sometime in early March with all the snow on the ground I set out to make the biggest snowman of my life. I had to make a snow ramp to get the upper body in place. When Asher got up from his nap and looked out the window he pointed saying AAAAHHHHHH! I knew then that I had achieved success. I hope I haven’t set the bar too high for future snowmen. If so I'll need some help next year. This was quite the feat for one person.

A couple days later a 5-year old stopped by to tell me that snowmen are taken inside homes for the summer. I did not respond to him. Poor kid, I hope he takes it well when he understands one day the delusion he has been under his whole life.

Perturbed

2010-02-23T09:46:00.004-05:00

I'm a little perturbed. Lately Asher has been taking an object and banging it on anything he decides to bang it on. Let's say for example a plastic flute Kim just bought him. We show him how to use it and instead he runs around the house banging it on items. We then chase him down and what does he do right before we take it out of his hands. He starts to play it, just like we showed him how in the firstplace. And then after we back off and think he now understands how to use the item, off he goes running around hitting things with it. This has also happened with chalk and spoons. Just when I'm about to take it away, off he goes back to the chalkboard, or puts the spoon in his mouth just like we showed him.

The Final Season

2010-02-01T15:19:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is the beginning of the final season of Lost. After Kim and I viewed the first two minutes of tomorrow nights premiere I realized this is my favorite show of all time. As I watched the suspense level passed any episode I had watched of the X-files.

I'm not ready for the season to begin. I keep thinking its just going to be a big letdown. Or they'll leave us hanging with a bunch of questions like the X-files did and then try and make more money by doing a movie or two.

I'm a huge J.J. Abrams fan and I just hope he can talk the money hungry television executives into not leaving us hanging and doing a movie. But even then the writers have given us a whole lot of questions that need answers. The big question is do they even have answers.

Jorai Mae & Selah Mae Newman

2010-01-16T15:21:00.003-05:00

It's hard to really want to do anything right now but just what needs to be done to keep up our household. I really believe Asher is Kim and I's saving grace through all this misery.

I keep thinking about having a website for Selah and Jorai. A site full of information for those that are going through the same loss. Also a place maternity wards can come to and learn about what needs to be said and done for those suffering in those rooms that were meant for overwhelming joy from the birth of a child.

I can't believe how many people have come to us with their stories of a stillborn, whether their own, or someone close to them. This world has so much darkness in it and we do such a great job of hiding it. I don't want Selah and Jorai to be forgotten. And somehow, someway I want them to help bring comfort and information to others through their website.

A Bit of Solace

2009-12-24T14:47:00.003-05:00

My little girl Selah Mae Newman was born sleeping December 21st, 2009. She didn’t have a chance to breathe life in this world. On June 3rd, 2007 my first daughter Jorai Mae was also born sleeping. I never imagined this tragedy would occur again.

I am angry. I am sad. I am hurt. And I am numb. My two beautiful little girls never had a chance to live their life. The only thing that gives me comfort is believing that GOD needs to create through us and he needed Selah and Jorai to be untainted from this world and He is loving them a hundred times more than Kim, I and Asher could ever be capable.

The one thing that keeps weighing on my heart is that I just want Selah and Jorai to be remembered by everyone. It’s just not fair that they weren’t given a chance and I need them to live through our memories.

Even though Asher is so young, he knows that something terrible has transpired. The support you give us helps us support Asher. Ever since we came home from the hospital he won’t let us out of his sight. When we put him to bed he screams in fear when we shut the door. He can only fall asleep peacefully in our arms.

Thank you everyone that has responded to us, it means everything. Even when I don’t feel like speaking to anyone, when you reach out to me I feel an amazing amount of love. It’s sometimes hard for me to speak one on one, but afterwards I am truly grateful that you made the call.

However you have responded to us, thank you, thank you, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

We love you,
Steve, Kim & Asher

Sports Talk Radio

2009-11-27T08:42:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to rant on how deplorable local sports radio is in Lansing. If I want to hear sports talk in the morning going to work I'm forced to listen to AM730, or FM107.3. On AM730 is Mad Dog who half the time babbles on about nothing with his sidekick. The callers remind me of 30 somethings who have part-time jobs (by choice) and are living off and with their parents. The callers don't bother to actually educate themselves on sports content. Instead they call up blabbing on about how great, or bad their team is not having a clue what is the cause of their success, or demise. There is actually one exception, a caller who calls himself "the sheriff" who could easily do a better job than Mad Dog.

Tim Stout comes on next at 9am who does more advertising than actual talk. He spends most of his time talking about local high school sports which is the more painful than getting a root canal without any penicillin.

And then there is Huge on AM730 at 3pm. He must be getting paid by UofM because he's always sticking up for Rich Rodriguez and pumping up UofM's basketball team. And what's the deal with him always riding MSU basketball? He's always saying how Izzo can do no wrong with a hint of questioning in his voice. Izzo has done nothing wrong! He has the most Final Fours of any coach in the last ten years. Every player that Izzo has recruited has gone to a Final Four. Let's see what are the Spartan's ranked at this moment.........#2!!!

If you want to listen to a professional, check out Jim Rome at noon on FM107.3, or AM730. You can also catch Dan Patrick on FM107.3 from 9am-noon. They might be able to hire more people to assist them with making a better show, but we're talking ESPN Sports Center to the latest trash on the WB. You can't tell me there isn't someone better out there for local sports talk radio.

Under the Stove

2009-11-13T14:41:00.002-05:00

This isn't the photo of what we found under our stove. That looks cute in comparison. It all began when Kim accidentally spilled oatmeal that went down the crack. You know the one that is between your stove and counter. The one you know countless crumbs and food items have made their way down, but you never bother to clean up.

There was just way too much oatmeal that spilled down the crack, it had to be cleaned up. The only way to do it would be to pull the stove out from between the counters. What I am about to confess is probably more common than anyone would like to admit, but in the almost 10 years I've been living in my house not once have I pulled out the stove. For all I know the stove has never been pulled out since the house was built.

As we pulled out the stove what lie underneath I didn't think was possible under any appliance. I didn't take a picture because it was beyond embarrassing. In fact, I have no idea how it didn't smell. But then I thought all those times where you would smell something nasty thinking it was coming out of the garbage, or disposal, maybe it was just off-gases coming from under the stove.

I won't mention everything I saw, just know I asked myself the same question a dozen times of how did that get down the crack. After mixing a strong solution of clorox, the removal of waste came up surprisingly fast with the help of a wire brush.

Take my advice and pull out your stove this weekend and clean underneath it. I was lucky, nothing living decided to take up residence. Or worse yet something unknown to earth growing under the stove.

Diaper Change

2009-11-06T20:40:00.004-05:00

I asked Asher if he wanted to get his diaper changed today and he said no. I believe this is his first verbal answer to me. I never thought about this moment. You think about first steps, first words, but never first verbal answer to a question.

Kim just told me Asher has been saying no to everything she asks him lately with a big devious smile on his face, so were not sure if he actually knows what he is saying, or we have one really huge problem on our hands.

I got hit by a car today

2009-09-29T21:35:00.002-04:00

I was walking along the crosswalk between the Ronald Mcdonald house and the Sparrow Professional Building on Holmes St. With my laptop in hand I looked up at the street light and it was red. I proceeded to step out onto the crosswalk and noticed a white Buick Regal slowly creeping its way up to me. I didn't think anything of it since I cross this intersection multiple times a week and cars are always waiting in line for the light to turn green.

After speaking to the police officer, #1 I will look at the street signal to see if the light is about to turn green. #2 I will try and make eye contact with the driver first in line at the light. If I would have done #2 I would have noticed the 70+ year old gal looking to her left paying absolutely no attention to me on her right. Jill decided to take a right on red. Later, the police officer told me this type of accident happens all the time. Since there will be no cars coming from the right, there is no reason to pay any attention to what is on the right side.

As I made my way across I noticed the white Buick Regal creeping its way a little too close for comfort. And just as this thought popped into my head, the white Buick Regal accelerated knocking me dead center onto the hood and my laptop flew into the road. I immediately got off the hood and yelled "what the hell were you thinking?". I'm actually surprised I didn't drop the f-bomb. Later on she asked me to call her so she knows I'm ok. I told her my lawyer would let her know.....just kidding.

I visited ER for 3 hours as they did some X-rays on my femur. My hamstring was tingling for 30 minutes, but no bruises. My laptop is working, but a little banged up. I am fine and have learned yet another reason why eye contact is the most important form of non-verbal communication.

Pet Peeves

2009-07-27T20:50:00.003-04:00

For the last two months I've been meaning to write about my pet peeves. This website has quite the list: http://www.getannoyed.com/. I found a few of mine on this site like people who don't turn on their turn signals, or take up 2 parking spaces, and those when angry say "Goddamnit" or "Jesus Christ". The scary thing is that I found a couple of things that I do.

Dirt Dessert

2009-07-27T20:37:00.002-04:00

Asher ate dirt 3 times today. Each time I attempted to remove it he clenched up trying not to let me empty his mouth. One of those times he bit down on my finger. We are talking pitbull clamp. I yelled in pain as he bit down even harder. How can dirt be so good that you would bite off your papa's finger if you had the strength?

Asher Week 49

2009-06-28T10:47:00.000-04:00

The Chitter

2009-05-16T21:23:00.005-04:00

How many times have you gone to a movie, or went to listen to someone speak and have behind you that annoying chatter. Seriously, can't it wait? Is it that you won't be able to remember it when the movie or speech is over? Bring a pen and paper. Does it ever occur to these people that others can hear them? I remember once being in a movie theater having to hear this guy in front of me ask his wife a dozen times either what was said, or what just happened because he didn't understand. And she told him and explained it to him each time. Seriously people!

1st Not Annual Maybe Never 2nd Newman Cheap Bourbon Award

2009-04-20T08:22:00.006-04:00

The 1st Not Annual Maybe Never 2nd Newman Cheap Bourbon Award has only one classification. A fifth of it must be sold for under $15. The Award this year goes out to Evan Williams. This isn't for those who like to sip their whisky, but for $11 who can complain. Buffalo Trace was disqualified from the competition due to it's $23 tag, but received honorable mention.

Remembering Jorai

2009-03-29T21:06:00.003-04:00

When Jorai was born a friend of ours brought over an Orchid. When the last flower died we cut it back. We had thought there would be only a short rest period and then new blooms would appear. After 15 months we finally received a new bloom. 4 of them to be exact, one for all of us. We love you Jorai.

Asher Week 39

2009-03-13T21:58:00.000-04:00

Bumper Stickers

2009-03-08T20:46:00.004-04:00

I'm not a fan of bumper stickers even though I have them on my car. This one really caught my attention today:

"Africans didn't choose to become slaves.
Jews didn't choose genocide.
Babies didn't choose abortion."

Even though I don't agree with abortion, I do believe that one must make that choice for themselves. This bumper sticker did a good job of expressing how I feel regarding this delicate issue.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

2009-03-01T20:46:00.003-05:00

Asher is a really good kid. He only cries when he's hungry, bumps his head, or just doesn't want to take a nap/go to bed at night. Normal stuff. But in the last week major changes are starting to take place.

Asher is realizing he has a choice. Sometimes it's a particular toy, or fruit over the veggies. He seems excited and fascinated from pulling every DVD and book off the shelf, or grabbing everything out of a box. Nothing ever goes back to it's original location. His instinct is destruction. When I try and misdirect him he sometimes gives me his frustrated tauntaun impersonation. It's quite good.

I sense something wicked this way comes. Asher's eyes have been opened and so begins the blessing and the curse from the knowledge of good and evil. The freedom of choice.

#2 on the adjective list for the word terrible is what I am preparing for:

2. exceptionally bad or displeasing; "atrocious taste"; "abominable workmanship"; "an awful voice"; "dreadful manners"; "a painful performance"; "terrible handwriting"; "an unspeakable odor came sweeping into the room" [syn: atrocious]

The terrible 2's are 15 months away, but it's never too early to prepare.

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” -Zig Zigler

Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy

2009-02-27T15:28:00.003-05:00

The Elephant and the Dragon

2009-02-18T16:52:00.020-05:00

A friend of mine sent me this email about his dream. I've heard my share of meaningless dreams from friends. I'm not saying this one isn't meaningless, but for some reason this dream strung an unknown note in me....

"I had a very vivid dream last night. An elephant riding a fearsome dragon was flying from house to house. Unconcerned, the occupants would open the door and welcome them in. After the elephant was done totally destroying the home, the dragon would devour the family members one by one. Neighbors would say, "Oh, that won't happen here. Elephants can be tamed, dragons could be nice if we just negotiate with them." When these creatures landed on my porch, I woke up."

College Radio

2009-02-14T16:04:00.003-05:00

Only on college radio can you hear The Pixies sing Caribou and Nick Drake sing Pink Moon one right after another during regular rotation. Not even a commercial 80's station would put those two songs back to back.

I find it strange that I'm blogging about something seemingly so meaningless, but college radio makes me realize how controlled the radio waves are today. Your missing all the good stuff. Support your college and public radio.

Reverendfun.com

2009-02-05T20:23:00.003-05:00

New Year's Resolution

2009-01-04T12:24:00.003-05:00

I actually forgot my New Year's resolution, but remembered it this morning. Pretty sad, but at least I remembered. So, for 2009 my resolution is to not take anything for granted. Here are my top ten things I took for granted in 2008:

1. My beautiful wife taking care of Asher, bills, the laundry, wonderful home cooked meals after a hard day of work.

2. Employment.

3. The most generous parents and in-laws that are always willing to help us out anytime, anywhere and with anything.

4. My 200,000+ car only needing $200 in engine repair. The $400 damage repair that I caused is not included.

5. Only one big house repair. New washer.

6. Forgiveness.

7. Love.

8. Friends.

9. Riverview.

10. Heat.

The Millen Man March

2008-12-10T20:12:00.003-05:00

I used to believe the roar could be restored, but when Matt Millen's contract was extended in 2005 I realized profit, not winning was Ford's intentions with the Lions. Since Millen's arrival in 2001, the Lions were 31-84, 26 games below .500, and had lost nine or more games each season. During the early part of Millen's tenure (2001-2003), the Lions failed to win a road game for three years (0-24).

So now my team is faced with becoming the worst team of all time. 0-13 and 3 games to go defeated. For the first time since 1992 do I find myself feeling like they can go all the way. Winning isn't everything.

Sufjan Stevens: Songs for Christmas

2008-12-04T16:27:00.002-05:00

Through the years some amazing Christmas albums have been created. John Denver's A Christmas Together with the Muppets and Charlie Brown Christmas are two masterpieces. But back in 2006 Sufjan Stevens put together a box set of 42 tracks (over two hours of song) that he recorded over the last 5 years. You might not even know who Sufjan Stevens is but stop right now and go listen to samples of Songs for Christmas on Amazon. Samples never do a masterpiece justice, but you'll get a good taste of my favorite Christmas album/box set of all time.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T17:42:00.003-05:00

Asher's first Thanksgiving went well until he started getting cranky and wouldn't go down for a nap. I sometimes wonder what Hell could be like and I think about the worse things in life. How about a screaming crying baby who is overly tired and won't go to sleep? And all you do is try to put him to sleep for eternity. Just got him down listening to his Smashing Pumpkins xylophone music. I almost like the xylophone versions better than the originals and I'm a huge fan of the Smashing Pumpkins so that says a lot.

My beautiful wife made me a wonderful T-day dinner. A couple of the highlights were her amazing cranberries that she cooks with Port.....yum, and the Crunch-Topped Sweet Potato Casserole. The casserole is not just a dish but an experience. It begins with the anticipation from smelling it when it's cooking and then on the first taste at the dinner table letting some of that pound of brown sugar that goes into making it slowly melt all over your taste buds. If you haven't experienced the Crunch-Topped Sweet Potato Casserole, you just haven't experienced one of the pinnacles of the Thanksgiving feast.

200,000 Club

2008-11-22T20:43:00.003-05:00

We currently have 214,000 miles on our 1996 Toyota Corolla. I've been a high mileage car owner pretty much all my life. Just recently we bought a 2 year old xB, so that's the newest car I've ever owned. One day I'd like to say that I was a member of the 300,000 club, but the problem is I only put about 15,000 miles on a year. I guess I could just go out and buy a car with 275,000 miles on it, but that's cheating. You have to put in your dues through the 100,000 miles in the 200,000 mile club. So far the casualties on the Corolla in the 200,000+ range is a broken parking brake and new spark plugs and wires. I'm going for it. 6 years to go......

If you would like to join the 200,000 mile club:

http://blogs.consumerreports.org/cars/2007/09/200000-mile-clu.html

Asher Week 21

2008-11-19T16:13:00.003-05:00

FINALLY!!!!! I'm all caught up. Feel like I just went through a marathon of picture blogging.....

Asher Week 20

2008-11-19T16:12:00.002-05:00

Asher's First Halloween

2008-11-19T16:11:00.003-05:00

Asher Week 19

2008-11-19T16:10:00.002-05:00

Asher Week 18

2008-11-19T16:09:00.002-05:00

Asher Week 17

2008-11-19T16:02:00.004-05:00

Asher Week 13

2008-11-11T20:59:00.003-05:00

I've been extremely delinquent posting pictures of Asher. We are already on week 21. I'll slowly catch up, but for now here is week 13:

Credit Default Swaps

2008-11-08T09:54:00.003-05:00

Anyone fully understand a Credit Default Swap?

"A credit default swap (CDS) is a credit derivative contract between two counterparties. The buyer makes periodic payments to the seller, and in return receives a payoff if an underlying financial instrument defaults. CDS contracts have been compared to insurance, because the buyer pays a premium, and in return receives a sum of money if a specified event occurs. However, this is a slightly misleading comparison because the buyer of a CDS does not need to own the underlying security; in fact the buyer does not even have to suffer a loss from the default event" - Wikipedia

I'm convinced the 700 billion bailout we just went through had much to do regarding Credit Default Swaps. They were illegal on Wall Street for almost 100 years and became legal in 2000. Is it just me or does that definition from Wikipedia sound like gambling? 60 Minutes aired this piece on October 26: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4546583n.

I Hate People

2008-11-08T09:20:00.002-05:00

It's amazing what comes out of our mouths when we are at our peak of anger and frustration. Yes, i said, "I hate people" Friday morning. I had an extremely bad morning at work. My laptops hard drive died so I had to reload windows and lost some important documentation that couldn't be recovered. I was also confronted with a slew of problems that I couldn't get resolution in a timely manner.

It didn't help that the biggest problem was caused by another employee in my department who didn't document anything and most likely either remembered wrong, or never checked what the IP address was on the device so he randomly chose an IP address in the lot for that area and knew someone else would eventually be called to fix the issue. I could go further with this, but I have decided I need to confront this person on Monday. It wouldn't be right to sit hear and vent anymore negativity about this individual.

Judgment

2008-10-30T19:42:00.002-04:00

Lately I've been judging people. They have done things that make my life difficult so I declare them guilty as charged. And off they go to my mental prison, never to be trusted again, unless they can prove to me they won't make my life difficult. I forgive them and I will forget the hurt over time, but I will hopefully always remember their actions so they and others can't hurt me in that same manner again.

Is this the right thing to do? We all have to protect ourselves to a certain extent from those that mean to continually do us harm. I don't like to categorize, or write people off. I am never one who likes to judge, but I find myself putting people
behind bars. Is this healthy? I'm not one who likes to put up walls, but lately I feel like I own the largest construction company in the world.

Minnesota Crime Commission

2008-10-25T14:34:00.004-04:00

Even though I think Asher is the best behaving infant any parent could ever ask for, I know what lies ahead (terrible 2's) and the only way to curtail that and on through his teenage years is through instruction. This quote from the Minnesota Crime Commission regarding child rearing might seem a little extreme, but without
instruction and consequences I know I would of been a menace to society:

"Everybody starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered. He wants what he wants, when he wants it - His bottle, his mother's attention, his playmates toys, his uncle's watch. You deny him these once and he seethes with rage and aggressiveness which would be murderous were he not so helpless. His is dirty and knows no morals, doesn't know anything, and has no developed skills... This means that all children are born delinquent. If permitted to continue in their self-centered world of infancy, given free rein to their impulsive actions to satisfy each want - every child would grow up to be a criminal, thief, killer or rapist."

Asher Week 14

2008-10-11T10:12:00.001-04:00

Hospice House

2008-10-11T10:08:00.001-04:00

On many occasions a sadness comes over me when I work in the hospice house. At first I thought it was seeing all the people alone in their rooms, some just being kept alive by machines and others watching TV alone. But today when entering the hospice house the same sadness came over me, but my thoughts changed from the loneliness to the thought of them not coming to any solid conclusions on what they truly believed about their existence.

On my death bed whether I'm right or wrong I want to be solid in my faith and what I believe about my existence. I want to be satisfied about my belief of GOD. I don't want to be indecisive regarding anything in my life that truly mattered. From what i believe when I fall flat on my face meeting my creator for the first time, I want to truly say I tried to the best of my ability to fulfill His desire for my life.

How Much Can One Truly Know

2008-09-14T20:50:00.003-04:00

Do you ever have moments when you realize the comprehension of everything in your life is quite little. It's in these moments I feel like a dab of genius fluid was dropped on my brain giving me just enough insight to understand how much I don't know in life.

It's in these moments I wonder if our mind was created not to completely comprehend our existence. Possibly as a way to keep us under control protecting us from spiraling out of control any faster than our current potential.

I don't believe we were created to be lab rats, I think that to be quite the opposite. I think we were meant to work under a certain confine for our own good. I hope that one day I will completely understand, but I don't think it will be in this world.

Content

2008-09-01T16:10:00.001-04:00

On many occasions when Asher is content it can be a huge relief. Don't get me wrong i love playing with him and hearing him try to talk. Seeing him smile and laugh is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, but it can be hard work trying to entertain the little fellow.

This morning I felt like I understood why GOD wants us to be content. There Asher sat in his vibe chair content as can be, winding down from a hard 2-3 hour session of waving his arms, trying to talk, standing as I held him on my stomach, and using all the brain power he could muster trying to figure out who he is and how he got on this big round rock floating in outer space.

So just as when I feel relief and peace when Asher is content, I think the same goes for GOD when we are content. GOD is like, finally. Maybe this is why GOD invented sleep. Forced content, it just doesn't get any better than that for GOD and us.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." - Philippians 4:11

Eyes to His World

2008-08-29T07:23:00.002-04:00

I was telling the story of my Eyes to My World post from August 16 to a co-worker and she said you know that saying, "the eyes are a gateway to the soul"? I actually thought that was scripture, but just a quote from Herman Melville. So she went on to explain that maybe it was me looking at Asher's pure soul that made me want to run instead of Asher looking at mine.

So at that moment when my co-worker was giving me this different scenario, I thought of a story I once heard of a man who when entering Heaven was all of a sudden stricken with this immense pain that hurt so much he had to leave and his only other choice was Hell. Could this be the very reason why Jesus must wash away our sins and make us pure so that we will be able to enter into Heaven?

This makes me think of the dust free environments some industries need in order to create a product. Once the product is made dust can touch it, but it must always be protected from the inside. I guess the same thing can be said of how we were made, we would never survive without our skin. I think the same goes for Heaven, but the cleansing we need goes way beyond the material and has everything to do with the spiritual. But we just don't have the capacity to create the spiritual cleansing we need in order to be in a place that cannot have one hint of falling short of who GOD needs us to be in His home. So there is absolutely no way we could enter Heaven on our own. Our spiritual being has been ruined by living in this world. We need something, or someone to cleanse us and prepare us for something we can't possibly do on our own. We need an intercessor.

Waffles in Drawer

2008-08-17T18:05:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I decided to put leftover waffles in a slide out drawer that is used for all our saran wrap, aluminum foil and plastic bags. A couple of times I've put the ice cream in the refridgerator. On many occassions I go looking for the remote control and find it upstairs on our dining room table, or on the coffee table. Not a big deal, except our tv is in the basement.

Why do I unconciously take things and put them in a place that makes no sense as to where they should be located? This problem has gone on for way too long and I must find a solution. I'd appreciate any suggestions.

Asher Week 9

2008-08-16T17:47:00.005-04:00

Eyes to My World

2008-08-16T16:21:00.004-04:00

Lately I've been noticing how intense Asher's focus is on me. His world is completely Kim's and my world. On a few occassions his focus on me has been mesmorizing. I feel frozen. It's like he is peering into my soul. Maybe babies can do that beacause they don't have all the crap from this world clouding their mind. They are pure from the factory, nothing has corrupted them yet. They are functioning at a spirtitual level that can never again be reached. Maybe in those times of my frozen state it's because deep down I feel Asher can somehow see my total being. And just like Adam and Eve all I want to do is run and hide. I only want him to know the good part of my world.

I Gave My Son to GOD

2008-08-02T09:46:00.004-04:00

I'm not much of a poet and I'm rusty on poetic format, but I had an idea yesterday to write a poem, so I did this morning.

I Gave My Son to GOD

I gave my son to GOD.
He gave me His,
So I returned the favor.
My son doesn't know it yet,
he's only 8 weeks old.
I wonder if he'll be angry,
or one day passionately give me a big hug saying thanks.
I hope this means GOD will raise my son
so I can just be GOD's assistant in the process.
I gave my son to GOD.
Only GOD knows what's best for him.
And I want what's best for Asher.

The Truth is at War with the Lies

2008-07-26T08:22:00.005-04:00

I think back to all the roads I have traveled down, all the people I've met around the world. So many places, faces, and decisions. At times completely out of control in so many different ways. All these decisions that I've made and life has brought me to this point.

I think most people look at everything in their life as a bunch of random events with good and bad results. I believe in an order in the universe. I'm not saying something was controlling me when I wasn't in control, but I believe our decisions are covered by the order. If the order doesn't cover one of our decisions I don't believe that decision can be brought into fruition. The order doesn't agree with all our decisions, it just allows them to take place with the good and the bad for reasons unknown to me, except in conjunction with my understanding of free will. Its just the way the universe was set up at the beginning of time. In my opinion I don't think the mind was created to fully conceive it, just respect the order and be content and at peace with it.

I think we were meant to learn and understand about the order to help us choose the intended paths for our lives. Many people will just say its all a bunch of meaningless random decisions and events that happen to us all, but i believe all our decisions matter. Each decision takes us down a different path. Each decision brings us closer, or further away from the truth. I believe the truth will set you free. But I thought the truth would be easy. The truth is difficult. The truth is at war with the lies.

Smoking

2008-07-08T20:05:00.004-04:00

I've been meaning to post about this for awhile, but just never got around to it. At my work they decided to ban smoking 100 ft from all company grounds. HOORAY!!! Sorry, smokers. So anyways, I knew this would be difficult because patients don't care and I knew they would smoke no matter what, but what has amazed me is how all the workers not only light up right in front of the non-smoking signs, they get together as many as 9 one day, I COUNTED! It's common in one area for me to see up to 5 people smoking together. This is right out in the middle of our parking lot! I see all the areas where they are smoking, some of them try and hide as best as possible, but then others go right out in the middle of our parking lot where everyone can see them.

So I'm guessing that they must know my company won't, or can't fire them. Otherwise, I'm sure they would have been fired a long time ago and they wouldn't be so obviously rubbing it in my companies face that they are going to smoke on company grounds. So how strange is it to do something every day and know your company doesn't want you doing it, but you don't care because you know your company won't fire you, so you do it anyway. The crazy thing is I know these people wouldn't be doing it if they weren't nicotine junkies. I said the word junkies, I decided before I started writing this post that I wouldn't say junkies, but that is exactly what smoking is if you can't wait until you get home and your willing to take the risk every day of getting fired. I really hope these people are trying to quit. But that doesn't seem to be the case, I see the same individuals out there multiple times each day fraternizing.

Grandma

2008-07-08T20:02:00.001-04:00

Backtime

2008-07-08T19:55:00.004-04:00

1 Day Old

2008-06-27T15:16:00.002-04:00

A Dependence on Love

2008-06-21T12:20:00.005-04:00

One of my first emotions in the hospital after Asher was born was the feeling that I would choose to die in a heartbeat if it meant that my son could live. It was so strong. I keep trying to relate this emotion to how GOD had to sacrifice His only Son so that I could truly be forgiven for my countless trespasses against Him throughout my life. I can't, because all I can think about is how not worth it I am.

But at one time I too was as little as Asher resting in my father's arms and he too felt these same emotions in the hospital. Something tells me its an extremely common emotion with every new father and mother. I believe this is how GOD reminds us of his continual love and how it can't be based on actions, because all Asher has done is poop, cry, eat and sleep. Asher is completely dependent on Kim and I to keep him alive. From the day we are born GOD shows us how He wants us to be dependent on Him. He'll take care of us, but we need to continually ask for his guidance.

This whole time Asher has been sleeping in my arms. He's constantly been rustling around trying to either get comfortable or is slowly waking up as I go back and forth from one and two hands typing. He even managed to throw himself out of my arms onto the couch. I'm glad I'm sitting on the couch. I think whether we ask for God's guidance, or not, we're all infants throughout our lives and GOD is trying to type with two hands.

Asher Steven Newman

2008-06-21T09:18:00.004-04:00

Asher Steven Newman was born on June 11th at 11:28pm. He weighed 7 pounds and 12 ounces. My last post "Anxiously Awaiting" was at 6:30pm on the 11th, I had no idea an hour later Kim would start going into labor. She wasn't even sure it was real labor until 9:30pm. And we didn't leave the house until 10:30pm. When we arrived at the hospital I was running through the halls pushing Kim in a wheelchair with one hand and the other pulling our luggage. Let's just say it was one crazy hour! Thank you Asher for not deciding to be born in the xB.

Anxiously Awaiting......

2008-06-11T18:29:00.002-04:00

It's one day past Baby Kix's due date. Kim drank 3 tablespoons of caster oil today. We've been eating spicy foods for the last two days. Kim told me that some doctors believe that the baby releases hormones when it gets stressed out and that's what begins labor. We don't feel like trying to stress out our baby, that seems kind of mean. We really don't want to be induced. Anybody have any suggestions?

The Importance of Belief Part 2: How can one be held accountable for something if they don't believe in it?

2008-05-22T21:23:00.006-04:00

Google couldn't find me anything directly answering my question. But indirectly Google revealed Romans 1:19-20 and Romans 2:14-16 which I found quite interesting:

Romans 1:19 because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them.20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, beingunderstood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse

"Although the Gentiles had no written revelation, yet what may be known of God is every where manifest among them, God having made a clear discovery of himself to them. For his being and perfections, invisible to our bodily eyes, have been, ever since the creation of the world, evidently to be seen, if attentively considered, in the visible beauty, order, and operations observable in the constitution and parts of the universe; especially his eternal power and universal dominion and providence: so that they cannot plead ignorance in excuse of their idolatry and wickedness." -Adam Clarke Commentary

Romans 2:14 For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law.15They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them

"The expression they are a law to themselves is another way of saying that the demands of the moral law are written within a man. The point is this: the attempt to “accuse and defend” will be brought into broad daylight on the day when God judges the secrets of men. That God will judge men’s secrets is in keeping with the fact sin is often related to the conscience, i.e., the inward and hidden moral reasoning of a man (And no creature is hidden from God, but everything is naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must render an account. ~Heb 4:13). That this judgment will take place, and that Jesus will be the judge, is in keeping with the gospel which Paul preached." -Adam Clarke Commentary

So I guess this scripture answers my question from a biblical point of view. We are accountable to GOD in all things. It doesn't matter whether we believe in being accountable, or not. We are all part of a system that was put in place a long time ago, an invisible reality. A reality I believe left unable to fully prove in order to leave the choice to believe, or not and most importantly the choice to love GOD, or not.

The Importance of Belief

2008-05-03T12:04:00.003-04:00

I am again obsessed with thinking about our beliefs. We can give fake fronts about who we are and say what we believe just to fit in with our friends, but our true beliefs still lay dormant in the core of our being.

Why do we believe what we believe? What is determining those bundles of neurons to connect in such a way to form a belief? My beliefs have changed drastically over my 35 years. I've gone back and forth with some issues swaying from the right to the left on many occassions. In many cases the more I come to understand a certain subject, I really never understood the stance I originally took about the issue.

I believe when we go to the grave certain beliefs are cemented for eternity. Well, that is the question? Are we given another chance? Does it really matter what we believed, because GOD is all loving and he'll understand we were just ignorant feverish little clots. Is it all good? Our beliefs change over time, so that wouldn't be fair if we weren't privy to knowledge that would of changed our belief for the better. And if we did know it's not our fault that we chose the wrong belief beacause life is extremely complex with so many variables and influences. I can only work with the neuron's that I was given at birth. But what if only a few exceptions and no excuses are accepted in the afterlife. Who are we to judge?

Everything in this world revolves around responsibility and accountability. I have to believe that I will be responsible and accountable for how I lived this life. My belief system is the motivation for my actions. Yes, I'm going to make mistakes and go against what I believe at times, but there will always be that belief system in the core of my being administrating my everyday decisions making me who I am. It's amazing how one little belief can change how you see yourself in this world and how one little new belief can sometimes sprout a seed changing one into a completely new being.

Remembering Jorai Mae Newman

2008-04-23T18:51:00.004-04:00

This was taken from a draft i found in my gmail back on 12/26/07. I was planning on posting this but it never made it........

"Today I worked on the printer that printed Jorai's picture at her birth. The printer actually only needed a new color cartridge, but at the same time I felt an attachment to this printer. If I wasn't able to fix it and needed to replace it, I know I would have brought it home. I don't know if this is healthy, but I find myself not wanting to part with anything that had anything to do with Jorai.

At home we still haven't taken down the pictures, cards, and Jorai's ashes that sit on the wood trunk in our living room. I wanted them up until the end of this year. I never understood when people would tell me after their loved ones departed from this world that they still felt them alive, or in some way felt that they were still with them. I do feel Jorai is still alive."

mingle-mangle

2008-04-19T19:53:00.004-04:00

I saw a "never satisfied" bumper sticker and felt a sadness for the driver of that car.

The other day I saw a Ford commercial and they dropped in a line stating they now have the same quality as Toyota. So I'm trying to find out exactly when Ford was able to match Toyota's quality. Does this mean all the models of Ford were matched at the same time? America deserves to know when this quality standard was acheived so we know not to buy any Ford products prior to that date.

Dark Horse, my favorite brewery in Michigan has released another batch of Sapient BelgianTriple Ale. It is now available only at E. Lansing Oade’s Big Ten, or if you feel like driving
to the Dark Horse brewery in Marshall.

Go see Ben Stein's film "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed." Amazing!

Are All Sins the Same?

2008-03-30T18:21:00.006-04:00

So I went off on a rabbit trail and found a wolf in the sheep den. I was trying to figure out how to equate not murdering someone because we don't want to go to jail, to not letting certain things slide that we know GOD doesn't want us doing. No, I'm not thinking about murdering anyone. Just trying to figure out how to stop doing those things I know GOD doesn't want me doing, but I do them anyway. This led to the question: Are all sins the same? That answer led to: Why don't people believe in Jesus?

Conclusion: We're just more physical than we are spiritual. Until it hurts us in the physical, the spiritual seems to be left by the wayside.

Africa's World War

2008-03-08T08:36:00.003-05:00

(CNN) -- The government of the Democratic Republic of the Congo and armed groups in the country signed a deal Wednesday to end years of fighting in Congo. According to the International Rescue Committee the conflict and humanitarian crisis in Congo had taken 5.4 million lives since 1998, and 45,000 people continue to die there every month. This loss of life is equivalent to the entire population of Denmark, or the state of Colorado, dying within a decade. Even with the country's violence, the IRC found that most of the deaths were from non-violent causes such as malaria, diarrhea, pneumonia, and malnutrition. Nearly half the deaths were among children younger than five, even though they are only 19 percent of the population.

The reason why I'm speaking about this is that I didn't even know about this war until 2 days ago when I was listening to NPR. How can a war that is equivalent to World War II go so unnoticed by the media. Why haven't I heard any of my friends ever speak about this war? Why haven't I heard or read anything about this war until 2 days ago on NPR?

For an inside look on Africa's World War read:

http://www.blackagendareport.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=519&Itemid=1

Is America Addicted to Porn?

2008-03-02T20:08:00.002-05:00

XXXchurch pastor Craig Gross and ex porn producer of 9 years Donny Pauling went up against Monique Alexander and Ron Jeremy in a debate at Yale on the harmful effects of pornography. Take time out to view this video, it will take about 45 minutes. Debates like these are rare and this gives a good look at how people in the pornography industry justify their trade. Pay close attention to what Donny Pauling says about the countless woman that are ruined from the industry.

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Nightline/FaceOff

A great book to read about the pornography industry and the effects inside relationships of men and woman that view pornography on a consistant basis is Pornified by Pamela Paul. If you view pornography on a consistant basis, or want to stop viewing it, this book shows you the troubles you will have in relationships from couples that are extremely candid about their pornography habits and the connections that are made to the pornography that is hurting their relationships.

Money for sex

2008-02-27T19:09:00.003-05:00

Kim and I just watched "Trade". This movie was based off a 9 month investigation piece The Girls Next Door from the New York Times. According to the U.S. State Department's report on sex traffic in 2005, 600,000 to 800,000 people are trafficked across international borders each year, with 14,500 to 17,500 trafficked into the U.S.

The Girls Next Door stated that there are thousands of sex slaves right here in the U.S. Please watch this movie. Please understand every time you look at porn whether you pay for it, or not, your click of the mouse is recorded and used for keeping women on the screen with money and addiction to drugs. And worse of all, the promotion of kidnapping and enslavement of innocent children only to be emotionally and physically scarred for the rest of their lives.

Neti Pots

2008-02-21T18:10:00.000-05:00

My wife tracked all the people coming to her blog and realized that most of them came because they searched for Neti Pots. She had Neti Pots as the title of one of her blogs. So I'm attempting to get more traffic. Sorry, I apologize for misleading you, but this blog has nothing to do with Neti Pots. The things we do for attention.

I notice more and more people seem to say, "this book is our bible". Today it was a reference to a database. On another day it was Wikipedia. I find this extremely fascinating, because whether you believe that the Bible is GOD's one and only collection of writings that He wrote through man, or not, it's interesting how we go to documents as our one and only source for specific topics of knowledge. Whatever the subject is we all have our bible's. It makes sense that GOD would leave a book for life.

New Identity?

2008-02-10T08:55:00.000-05:00

Nobody I know reads my blog, except my wife. I kind of like it that way, but then what's the point of having a blog. At first I created Speepr McCree from Christmas Island as a joke. I got the funniest picture I had of myself and posted it. But my first entry in 2005 ended up being the only humor of this blog and I deleted it.

I still like my picture and enjoy being from Christmas Island, and I kind of like the name Speepr. So why do I think I want my real identity on my blog? Does it matter? What do I gain and what do I lose? If anyone is reading please give me your opinion.

The decline of the FDA

2008-02-09T10:50:00.000-05:00

I read somewhere that the ingredient "natural flavors" can have monosodium glutamate (MSG) in it, and then I read another detailed article about MSG that didn't have natural flavors listed as an ingredient that might contain MSG. Does anyone have any knowledge regarding the vague ingredient of natural flavors? Why doesn't the FDA require companies to list the origin of the natural flavor? What about artificial flavor? I'm scared to look up what the definition is of artifical flavor in the Code of Federal Regulations.

The exact definition of natural flavorings & flavors from Title 21, Section 101, part 22 of the Code of Federal Regulations is as follows:

"The term natural flavor or natural flavoring means the essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof, whose significant function in food is flavoring rather than nutritional."

Switchgrass

2008-01-31T16:51:00.000-05:00

This could be the replacement for big oil.......

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5183608

The Future of Food

2008-01-27T21:12:00.000-05:00

This really scares me, buy organic.............down the road it might just save your life one day. GMO's might of been invented to help poorer areas grow more crops, but I believe profit has become the force behind the development of GMO food.

Poverty Radio

2008-01-26T14:17:00.000-05:00

Instead of sports radio, its poverty radio. Instead of talking about the games, they talk about meetings and discussions going on around the world trying to figure ways to improve living conditions. Instead of talking about the stats and how the players performed each day,they talk about the stats of how many water wells were drilled, and how the workers performed that day. And instead of win's and losses its how many people now have cleanwater for the first time in that region. Instead of fantasy football, it's fantasy worker's. Instead of baseball cards, its worker's against poverty cards.

This all sounds a little off, but what I'm trying to point out is that we spend billions of dollars on sports a year. 100's of players make over 10 million a year, 1000's of players make over 1,000,000 a year. The average salary in the United States is under $30,000. What if we salary capped each player at 1,000,0000 in every sport. What if people wouldn't pay more than$10 for a ticket to see a game. What if all the extra money that was spent on sports somehow,someway could be used to pay the salaries of the WWAPL (Worker's Working Against Poverty League). We could still have our sport's cake and eat it too.

Why can't we get excited about listening to the stories of worker's in the field building infrastructure, supplying healthcare, bringing the means for people to help themselves. Following our hero's through news of their whereabouts and what they are doing throughout the year.

We spend countless of hours focusing on games that overall are meaningless to our well being. There is no reason why we can't take a part of that and put it towards life instead of letting it continue towards death. The crazy thing about all this is that the sports world would go on as if nothing happened. Players would still compete at the highest levels, but with just less salaries. The sports fan would even benefit from getting to pay less for tickets. It's a win win situation. No one needs more than a million dollars a year, no matter how hard they work.

Death in the Mirror

2007-12-21T06:35:00.000-05:00

This is an excerp from an article called "Death in the Mirror: Real Meaning in Life is to be Found Beyond Life" by Timothy K. Jones:

"Christian faith has always argued that meaning in life will be found beyond life...Despite the richness of this world, the New Testament reminds us that we are on our way to a reality even clearer and more substantial than we presently experience, 'Here we do not have an enduring city,' the writer of Hebrews wrote, 'but we are looking for the city to come' (Heb. 13:14). Or, as Paul put it, 'We look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen' (2 Cor. 4:16,18).

Indeed, we will never live fully if we think we can exhaust the meaning of the moment without reference to the longer stretch...We cannot live rightly until we aim past life. Eternity provides the only goal that makes the ultimate sense of each moment. Awareness of death, and of its opening to a life beyond, has not only framed how I look at life. It has also begun to work a change in how I walk through life. It has, in other words, brought not just new meaning to my moments, but changes to my behavior. As Samuel Johnson reportedly said, 'When a man knows he is going to be hanged in fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.' Our awareness of the transitoriness of this life, find, concentrates my priorities, helps me refashion my daily choices.

To know that life is not a destinationless journey helps me live more completely for a final good, an ultimate end...To know that 'we have such a hope,' as Paul says, makes us 'very bold' (2 Cor. 3:12). God's gracious assurance and promise of eternal care helps us 'incline to our proper center.' Our daily decisions become oriented around something more profound...A conviction about what lies beyond is giving me courage to live more fully and more faithfully...God can take even my frailty and mortality and invest it with eternal significance."

Instruction

2007-12-09T12:28:00.000-05:00

I believe GOD has an agenda. I believe this agenda is the only agenda that will allow Heaven to function. It's not that GOD is a tyrant, its just that His agenda is the only way things will and can work in Heaven. It's not a choice because there is no other way. So if there is only one way things can work, this must mean there are instructions.

This must mean its all in one instruction manual. As tough as life is, it would be seemingly impossible to try and figure out the truth from multiple books. How can the most important thing in our life not be written down for all to read under one cover? Each product I buy has the manual under one cover. It never tells me the intricate workings of the product, but it does tell me how to operate it. At work, if something isn't documented I get multiple stories. Along the way my experience can be misleading when I believe I have fixed the issue only to find out 5 hours later I had only band aided the problem.

Life is extremely complex. I'm bombarded with different philosophical ideas and perspectives each day. Even my closest co-workers disagree on ways of dealing with situations and how to fix the same issue. Ultimately how do we know we are living life the way we should? How do I really know? How do I judge what goes through my mind each day? What if my life is supposed to be different when it appears I am doing just fine? What if I'm not even supposed to be living my life the way I am? What if I'm supposed to be living my life for something else? What if I'm supposed to be living my life for someone else, so they can slowly change me into the person I was created to be? How can I know? I can only know if its written down, or the one who knows is somehow giving me the message in some form or another.

What happens if I need to change in order to be able to function correctly in Heaven? There has to be a process. There has to be a manual. There has to be an easy way to get the manual. I'm guessing its right in front of my face. When you purchase a product the creator makes sure the instructions are included with the product. Many of you believe we just came to be through the big bang and evolution theories. Well, I guess that would mean there couldn't possibly be a manual and that means you are on your own to do as you wish and will, it's just as simple as that. But what about those of us that believe we were created. Logic and common sense tell us that like a company including the instructions with its product, GOD would likely do the same, otherwise the product would have to be figured out how to use and repair. I guess thats simple with some products, but I've watched a professor get extremely frustrated trying to put together a diaper changing table and we even had the instructions. He had even already put it together before and from what I heard became extremely frustrated. We all can agree things get complicated when dealing with those seemingly easiest of tasks. What would happen if we had to reinvent the wheel each time building houses, cars, airplanes, computers, a magnetic particle separator. If a company created it there is always a manual. I believe GOD made man in His image. How could GOD not include the manual with the most complex product on earth?

If you believe GOD created us, then you have to believe he left us some instructions. Whatever we believe, we need to continually challenge and test its strength. One day we come to know the truth. What will you say when GOD says it was written down your whole life right in front of your face? You even had people tell you the truth, but you wouldn't listen for whatever reason. Will you be able to say I'm sorry I was wrong. What if GOD forgives you and says that isn't the problem that you decided to live your life the way you wanted, but that the problem is all your life He was trying to tell you that you needed to be a certain way at this moment in order for you to function correctly in Heaven. That as you dwelt on your physical and material well being throughout your whole life, the change He needed and tried to make in you was a spiritual birth that would slowly renew your mind on earth to prepare you and be ready for a life of eternity in Heaven. The Bible says man focuses on the outer appearance, but GOD focuses on the heart.

Typosquatting

2007-12-02T17:51:00.000-05:00

I was a victim of typosquatting today as I typed in www.gmail.com. I'm not sure how I mispelled it, but I did and a typosqautter got me. Below is an explanation, if you haven't already been struck by this evil that is now among us on the internet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typosquatting

Team

2007-11-29T19:10:00.000-05:00

My thought of the day came to me about what makes up a good team? The most talented team cannot win unless everyone works together. If a player doesn't function correctly in his position, the team eventually will suffer and the victory's are few. In many cases, the most talented players never win a World Series or a Super Bowl. Time and time again we see players who are focused on themselves spouting off to the media about how they aren't happy with other players, the coach, even how they want to be traded. It's everyone else's fault.

I might be reaching out on a limb with this one, but I'm paralleling a sports team with Heaven. GOD is recruiting everyone to Heaven. He's looking for souls that will listen to the coach. He's looking for souls that want to play with His game plan. He's not looking for talent, or performance, but obedience. He needs the team to be one. He needs the team to enjoy, respect and love each other. And most importantly He needs everyone to want and do anything for the coach. He needs everyone to abandon themselves to the game plan, passionately believing and honestly loving that it is the best and the only way that everything will work out for the best.

Maybe I've gone way overboard with this one, but think about if your a coach, or owner of a company. Who do you want playing, or working for you? Isn't everything I just said exactly the same characteristics you would want in your team? Everyone thinks that creativity and individualism is destroyed by conformity, but conformity to a point, or a solid foundation has to be obtained in order for individualism and creativity to be able to exist in the first place, otherwise we just have chaos.

Battle of Wills

2007-11-16T11:55:00.000-05:00

I constantly hear the phrase from people, "if GOD is all loving He will accept me for who I am because I'm an overall good person." It's your will vs GOD's will. Your will says GOD's will should accept your will and GOD's will says you should want and accept His will. We base ourstatement "if GOD is all loving He will accept me for who I am because I'm an overall good person" on the presumption that GOD's will wants and accepts our will. Everyone has their own will, we are constantly making decisions to allow our will, or let another's will impose on us. Marriage, work, family, the decision to purchase a product from another store, everyday interaction with people requires us to make a decision that will either go towards or against our will. So why does everyone think that GOD is going to say when we get to Heaven that we can just go ahead and fulfill our will any way that we shall please, or that its going to be a give and take relationship, or that we will just magically want, accept, and do His will? It seems to me that people think our life on earth is going to parallel eternity.

What does the Bible say in regards to how GOD is going to please us in Heaven? What does GOD say about what He wants us to do for Him? I've compiled some scripture below that I think is relevant:

Deuteronomy 13:18 "The LORD your God will be merciful only if you obey him and keep all the commands I am giving you today, doing what is pleasing to him.

1Kings 11:33 For Solomon has abandoned me and worshiped Ashtoreth, the goddess of the Sidonians; Chemosh,the god of Moab; and Molech, the god of the Ammonites. He has not followed my ways and done what is pleasing in my sight. He has not obeyed my laws and regulations as his father, David, did.

2Ki 16:2 Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem sixteen years. He did not do what was pleasing in the sight of the LORD his God, as his ancestor David had done.

2Ki 17:9 The people of Israel had also secretly done many things that were not pleasing to the
LORD their God. They built pagan shrines for themselves in all their towns, from the smallest outpost to the largest walled city.

2Chronicles 14:2 For Asa did what was pleasing and good in the sight of the LORD his God.

2Ch 31:20 In this way, King Hezekiah handled the distribution throughout all Judah, doing what was pleasing and good in the sight of the LORD his God.

Ro 12:2 - Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.

Romans 15:16 - a special messenger from Christ Jesus to you Gentiles. I bring you the Good News and offer you up as a fragrant sacrifice to God so that you might be pure and pleasing to him by the Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 11:5 It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying – "suddenly he disappeared because God took him." But before he was taken up, he was approved as pleasing to God.

Heb 13:16 - Don't forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God.

Heb 13:20 And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him. Jesus is the great Shepherd of the sheep by an everlasting covenant,signed with his blood. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 5:10 Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord.

I searched the word pleasing in an online Bible. This is a sample of the 74 entries I found with the word pleasing and all 74 of them referred to pleasing GOD, not us. I understand we all believe in something a little different, but only one belief system can be correct. I write these posts to make people think. I hope I am not imposing my will against another, I am just writing posts like these to challenge the world's belief systems and also to strengthen, or reveal holes in my own. The older I get the more excited I am for my death. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to it at all, its going to be the scariest moment of my life. I am so fearful of it, because I believe I will be in front of GOD reading word for word exactly everything I did in life. I am ashamed of so many things I have done, but I know GOD forgives me as long as I believe that His son Jesus Christ died for my sins/my wrongdoings against GOD's will.

I wonder why GOD created us to have such a hard time in figuring out His will for our life and even then when we do how hard it is to stay focused. Maybe because we are constantly seeking happiness through our own will and need to be disappointed, because only then do we look for something else. So this brings up the question why did GOD even create us to have a will if He is constantly disappointed with our decisions. I think GOD is looking for roommates who adore and truly love Him, and as we all know true love can't be forced. True love is wanting to do nothing for oneself and only wanting to please the one with whom your in love. I believe GOD needs and wants us to be in true love with Him. He's doing His best to gain our attention, to attract us, and most importantly can only hope for us to fall in true love with Him as He is already with us.

A Third of the Angels

2007-10-25T19:31:00.000-04:00

I posted this on March 22nd, 2007. Our feelings and desires have been on my mind lately. Just how does one's mind develop emotions; wants, feelings, desires. Are we destined to have those emotions from birth? Or through the events of our upbringing, what people did and said to us, and our decisions on what to pursue, did these things form our feelings and desires?

Lately, my thoughts just keep going back to what I wrote on March 22nd about having a roommate. I don't know anyone who would disagree about what I wrote. Let me know if you disagree........

"Ever since I read Revelations 12, I've been fascinated by verses 3 and 4 where it makes the reference of a third of the angels being kicked out of heaven. Throughout the Bible we read about a spiritual war going on between GOD and Satan. Some of us can agree that not all of our desires are born within ourselves, we know they can come from an outside source. I have always wrestled with which desires are inspired from Satan, which ones from GOD, and which ones from myself.

But what I want to comment on isn't which desires are coming from where, but the fact a third of the angels were kicked out of heaven. I still can't get over how the angels weren't content with Heaven, that they still wanted to what appears create or have there own way with doing things that went against GOD's sovereignty in His kingdom. Kind of reminds me of me at work wanting to do things my own way even though I was hired and am getting paid to do things works way.

Think of someone you see every day. They really get on your nerves because they completely have no respect for your outlook on life. They joke about things around you that are completely irritating. You have to listen to their selection of music all day from their cubicle. You have asked them to turn it down, but they claim they can't hear it that low. They are loud and obnoxious. But even though they have all these traits that make you angry, they still aren't doing anything wrong in everyone's eyes at work. Some people actually enjoy the music, they enjoy the jokes and what is loud and obnoxious to you isn't loud and obnoxious to them. Basically its just a difference of opinion with this person, not what is right and what is wrong. But every day you feel a huge relief immediately when leaving their presence.

So I wonder would GOD kick a third of the angels out just because of personality conflict? One thing I just can't stop thinking about is that everyone I know eventually moves away from roommates that they are having a personality conflict with, its just a matter of time before one or the other can't take it anymore. So is GOD trying to groom us to be roommmates in Heaven?And from the way He created us and under the circumstances of what Adam and Eve did in the garden, the grooming has to be done through a relationship with Him on earth?

I know this all sounds completely ridiculous. But, man is made in GOD's image. There are many people I just don't get along with, but its just a personality confict, niether of us are right or wrong. Could I ever get along with that person as a roommate if either I or they never changed? Don't see how that would be possible. So how does one come to the conclusion that GOD needs to change for them, or put up with something that is completely annoying to Him in Heaven? I know many of you are saying GOD is completely above this petty analogy, GOD is love, love perseveres through all things. I agree completely, but no matter how much I go back and forth, a third of the angels were still kicked out of Heaven.

Reference: Angels are often referred to as "stars" and "sons of God" (Job 1:6, 2:1, Isa 14:12, Rev. 1:20, 9:1, 12:4,9)."

9 little ways to go green

2007-10-25T18:52:00.000-04:00

Take your refrigerator's temperature... it should be between 37 and 40 degrees
Moving your fridge out of the sun, or away from a range can save you money and energy... any 1 degree temperature change above 70 degrees makes your fridge use 2.5 times more energy
Use your dishwasher... if you have one, especially an Energy Star one, it saves 5,000 gallons of water and roughly 230 hours each year!
Fix a leaky faucet and toilet
Change your shower head to one that uses less water ... for example 1.5 gallons per minute vs. one that fills a gallon in 20 seconds.
Put extra rugs in your entry way and USE them to wipe your feet -- this means less pathogens, cleaner air quality, and thus, less chemical cleaning and less frequent vacuuming.
Put a sweater on in the winter and keep your heat turned down
Use the sun to heat your home... open shades when it's sunny and close them when the sun sets
and, of course, use energy efficient light bulbs!

Edward O. Wilson

2007-10-23T06:30:00.000-04:00

Last night I went to hear Edward O. Wilson speak at MSU. This man is considered to be one of the leading scientist in the world. He spoke on the urgency for us to come together and do something about the destruction of our planet. His focus was on informing the audience the details of science that at least have never been discussed to me from anyone:

Estimated by experts that only 10% of the species on earth have been found.
We have found 1.8 million species. In 1988 we had found 1.3.
In one human, the ratio of bacteria to every one cell in the body is 100 to 1.
There are 3 billion chemical based pairs that make up one human body and each body is unique.

If the human genome were a book it would span from New York to Dallas and within each inch, a hundred letters from each base pair would need to be read off! I was going to entitle this post mind boggling because those are the only words that come to me, it just doesn't seem possible that all of this could just come together from chance through evolution.

The fact that we are all unique. This means the 3 billion long line of code has to first evolve from chance and then takes on a mind of its own when it comes together to create each new baby.

500 different kinds of bacteria live in our mouth and throat which do a number of things including keeping pathogens out. How many are in the digestive system? There are 20,000 species of nematodes that have been found and an estimated 480,000 that are still waiting to be found. Edward said that it has been proven that certain species of nematodes populate certain regions and are believed to be all woven together somehow serving a purpose.

The main point of his speech was that there are so many things in this world that we don't know, and we are destroying them one by one as we build our civilization on earth. We must find ways to preserve the ecosystem or else we might be the next to go just like the latest species that has become extinct.

A friend of mine who also attended the lecture posted below on October 23rd:

http://adamandsara.blogspot.com/

Why do bad people prosper?

2007-10-17T03:16:00.000-04:00

For God to provide the general blessings of life only to the righteous would in effect be coercive in manipulating men's decision to strive for righteousness.

Why do the innocent suffer?

2007-10-17T03:06:00.000-04:00

Evil exists because given the choice, men chose evil. Men also are responsible in their failure to release God to act through the means given them. These repeated choices for evil empower and authorize a corporate effect of evil into the world that spills over into the lives of the innocent.

We are all under a curse as a result of our sin and the sins of our forefathers, which we share in (Ex. 20:5; Num. 14:18; Dt. 7:9; Ezek. 18:14-20; Rom. 5:12, 18-19).

Why does evil exist?

2007-10-17T02:44:00.000-04:00

This has been taken from an IBC 7/91 lecture at University of the Nations by Mel Hanna.

"In the book of Job, Satan charged God with coercing or buying Job's faithfulness through blessings--a charge which God defended Himself against (showing that it indeed would have been wrong for Him to have bought Job's obedience).

God is therefore limited in the degree to which He can interfere with the free will of man. God has limited Himself in this way, so that man can truly have free will. Free will in man is necessary in order for man to be able to love.

Love requires a free will agent in order to exist. It cannot be coerced or programmed into a being and still be love. Man has to be able to chose evil for the choice to love to be meaningful.
God is love, and it is unthinkable that He would have created a world where love could not exist.

Why does evil exist? Because, given the choice to do good or to do evil, men with a free will continually choose evil.

When God acts in our lives, it is because He has been legitimately released to act. When we pray, we are releasing God to act. He can enter into our lives when we open the door for Him to enter. Our free will remains intact in those instances, because He is coming at our invitation.

Satan and his demons also must be released to act. They are released to interfere in our lives when we choose evil--when we seek after other gods, when we proclaim evil words, when we perform sinful acts, or acts against GOD's love.

Attitude

2007-10-16T21:31:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a bad day, i guess that's pretty evident. I often wonder if I'm pissing people off just as much as they are pissing me off? It's possible, but I don't think so, wow, what if I'm wrong about that, what if I am pissing people off just as much as they are pissing me off. What if they are blogging at this very moment about how much people piss them off and they are absolute angels and don't deserve such terrible treatment in the world. But they are the blind ones, not me. I'm the good one.

Hmmmm, "I'm the good one". This makes me think about some discussions I have gotten into with friends. The discussion is what makes one good, or bad. We end up comparing ourselves to some legalistic standard pulled out of our butts. And then we go on feeling good about ourselves for awhile until the conversation arises again. Since the conversation keeps coming up then we haven't justified our actions enough, because we can't, so we keep having to try and convince ourselves by tweaking that legalistic standard we pulled out of our butts.

The Bible says in Psalm 14:1-3 that not one of us is good. I guess you could take it as the author was speaking of a certain group of people from that time. But I ask you the question what group of people do you know today that are good? But just remember that legalistic standard you pulled out of your butt is from your butt.

Tired

2007-10-15T20:09:00.000-04:00

I'm really tired today.

Work has really sucked lately. I feel like nobody cares around me, actually I don't feel, I know. And that attitude is slowly seaping into my work ethic. It's hard to care when everyone around you doesn't. It's hard to care when everyone around you says one thing and does the other.
So even though I'm really tired today and work sucks, it's pretty much all because of the people around me. So don't let everyone around you dictate your days. People suck. People always have been and always will. You just got to love them like GOD loves you every day. If you think GOD doesn't think you suck, think again. Just remember GOD doesn't care if you suck, if he did why would we still be here killing each other, raping each other, letting 1000's a day starve or die from bad drinking water, selling each other addictive drugs, ripping each other off for a good profit, well the list goes on.........did i mention I'm really tired today and work sucks.

Yeah, i'm kind of negative, but a friend once told me who I respect that I should let her be pissy and negative, because that's the way she is feeling and there's nothing wrong with that and I told her she was wrong. Now I understand what she was feeling and I was wrong.
So anywho, where am I going with this post. I think what I'm trying to say is, don't let the people around u dictate your attitude and motivation to make your surroundings a better place. Just remember to love people like GOD loves us.......blindly. Because if GOD didn't forgive us and watched everything we did in absolute horror, trust me this world would be like Sodom and Gomorrah in a second. All I have to say is I'm so grateful that he didn't finish what he started, because then I would of ceased to exist. So next time you are directly effected by people that suck just remember they and you are on borrowed time and GOD needs you to love those people and be the difference to those people in a world that doesn't care about anything but its own self indulgence.

The Sport of Poverty

2007-10-14T11:49:00.000-04:00

I consistantly find myself at www.espn.com every morning looking for news and highlight reels from the previous day. ESPN's front page gives in my opinion the best layout of the w.w.w. with top news stories and commentaries.

Lately I have been wishing that I had the motivation to seek out each morning like I do with ESPN on what is going on in the world of poverty, persecution and oppression around the world. It would be nice if there was a website like ESPN that sparked my interest so that I would go to it every morning.

Wouldn't it be great if our government chose to put billions of dollars into an organization that could produce information like ESPN on poverty, persecution and oppression around the world. I bet it would be more effective than putting the billions of dollars into the war in Iraq.

If you find a website or a group of websites that could feed my interest in poverty, persecution and oppression around the world like ESPN does for the sportsworld, please let me know....

ODRAM

2007-09-25T17:38:00.000-04:00

On Sept. 9th at 6:30AM i began riding my bicycle attempting 151 miles in the ODRAM (One Day Ride Across Michigan) from Montague to Bay City. I previously had only ridden 117 miles in one day. Right around the 120 mile marker I noticed my buttocks started to ache something fierce. The last 10 miles sharp pains would catch my attention quite frequently. I finished at 7:22.

I promised our SAG that if he wanted to do the ODRAM next year I would join him, but otherwise I can't see any reason for putting myself through that again. My ODRAM riding partner did the 24 hour challenge in Grand Rapids. I never thought I would do the ODRAM. I have never even thought about doing the 24 hour challenge. It's now a thought.

GOD's Likes & Dislikes

2007-09-18T12:01:00.000-04:00

Since GOD has given us freewill His likes and dislikes will most likely be different than our own. Why would He want people liking something He dislikes? I don't understand this? I guess He just didn't want a bunch of GOD clones running around. What fun would that be? Although, if i was the creator of the human i sure wouldn't want them running around killing each other based on hate and selfish reasons. But i guess not even GOD can have His cake and eat it too. In time I believe we will all end up coming to find out the complete truth to every little detail of each of our existances. We'll have every one of our questions answered. Did Barry Bonds use steroids? What happened to Jimmy Hoffa? Was there an Atlantis? Was everything basically created from a pool of goop like evolution says?

Ok, I went off on a tangent, back to GOD's likes and dislikes? So if I desire something and another human desires something and we fullfill those desires together not hurting anyone in the process, but ourselves, does that mean GOD is going to like/dislike that behavior? Or does He just not care whether He agrees/disagrees with something, He just accepts it for what it is, because He did give us freewill? But say GOD doesn't just accept it for what it is and either likes/dislikes every single little detail of our lives. If GOD doesn't like it, could He still think its ok, because He gave us a brain and freewill, He obviously didn't create us to be robots.

I highly doubt that GOD created the world to be a free for all anything goes type place.I can't imagine GOD wants/likes/agrees with starvation, disease, drug abuse, verbal/physical abuse, substance addiction, war, rape, murder, hate, etc. So does that mean GOD only cares about the big things and the little things are left up to us? But then how can one know all of this? GOD didn't leave a detailed instruction manual to follow. I guess because He didn't want us all to be robots, but if He had I bet the world would be a better place. But then you know not everyone would follow the instructions. Are the circles I'm going in with every paragraph completely frustrating you yet? It's an honor for me to have you still reading.

Finally, not much of one, but a conclusion.... In the end we die alone. Whether we believe in the afterlife or not, our existance will be determined according to the instructions/rules of the afterlife, not on our belief system. We just have to hope that our belief system matches up with the instructions/rules of the afterlife. From what I see there are a bunch of different instructions out there about the afterlife. But whether we believe in one, all, none, or even choose not to make a decison, we have a belief. Believing is such a beautiful thing, its the most free thing in this world. In the end its our deciding factor on our actions in life. In the end its the only thing that is purely our own decision. And how fitting that the most free thing in this world is the only thing we take and what I believe will be the deciding factor of our destiny/fate into the unknown.

Does Porn hurt a Marriage?

2007-09-12T18:11:00.000-04:00

"One of the first things porn, or any lust for that matter does when we engage in it, is disconnect us from our wives, or any true intimacy for that matter. This happens because of two little words called guilt and shame. The Bible says that to even look at another woman with lust is adultery (Matt. 5:28). I believe this is because the same chemical and psychological processes are at work when we lust as when we actually have sex. One inescapable result of engaging in porn and lust is that a wall is immediately built between our wives and us; whether we feel it, acknowledge it or not. When this type of cheating continues, we quickly replace "intimacy" with "intensity" as our definition of what makes "good sex."

Since our wife's primary language of intimacy is relational, and we are disconnected, we are not able to connect in this manner. Further, because our primary language of intimacy is sexual and we are now in a spiral toward more and more intense sexual pleasure through porn and lust, a vicious cycle begins. We seek more and more "intense" sexual experiences--for which the internet is a perfect delivery mechanism for awhile--which we cannot get from our wives because we are disconnected from them emotionally and spiritually. The vast majority of men are not even aware this has happened. Disconnected becomes normal.

Congratulations... we are on our way toward sexual addiction.

As men we must be focused on sexual purity, not allowing any of our sexual energy be wasted on anyone but our wives. After all, the Bible tells us that our sexuality is first of all God's (Rom. 12:1), then our wife's (1 Cor. 7:4) and lastly ours. And we must be focused on meeting her needs for intimacy which are relational. For this is God's plan (Ecc. 9:9). As we do this, we will find that our sexual desire will redirect to our wives and grow significantly. It may take a month or two but it will happen. Try it. You may be surprised how well this works."

~Stuart Vogelman http://www.fatherville.com/Articles/Spiritual_Dads/Porn:_Does_It_Hurt_A_Marriage?/

Desire

2007-08-26T16:05:00.000-04:00

Our desire is unique. They are similar, but not one is exactly the same. Our desires motivate us in everyday decisions. Some desires are motivated by need, but most resolve around pleasure. I often wonder what GOD desires in His everyday decisions. I know from the Bible his two greatest desires for us are that we love him with all our strength, heart, mind, and soul. And his second greatest desire is that we love our neighbor as we love ourselves.

This seems logical. The first desire of GOD wanting us to have a relationship with Him, this helping us make the decisions GOD knows are best for us. The second desire, is that we love our neighbor meaning we want the best for them as we do for ourselves. I'm guessing GOD made these statements to hopefully steer people away from blowing themselves and others up with jets and bombs. And not retaliate with sending your neighbor halfway around the world to kill and be killed for freedom to.......love their neighbor. I realize there are alot of people not loving their neighbor around the world, but killing our neighbors because they aren't loving each other and us can't be the solution.

GOD wants us to desire what He desires. If we are all going to live peacefully together in Heaven, I'm sure GOD doesn't want the mayhem on earth to be a part of Heaven. GOD is love. The Bible says that we will be reborn into new bodies. I can only assume that this means not bringing one tendency that isn't love with us. I think if we did bring that one tendency it would be like a virus to our soul and Heaven.

Internet Filters: Part 2

2007-07-21T22:57:00.001-04:00

The reason why I made this comment is that I'm helping start a group for men which helps support one's desire to stay away from pornography and deal with sexual addiction. We came
up with the idea of inputing around 200 sites in a filter allowing only those sites to be seen on any browser on the pc. If the user wanted additionaly sites added, they would have to contact me which I would do remotely.

Internet Filters

2007-07-11T22:23:00.000-04:00

I just read a very disturbing government document by two senators regarding file sharing software. I lost the document and will try and find it tommorrow. I stumbled upon it and my search has come up in vain. On the top file sharing sofware Rape was #13 off the top 20 search words. #2 and #3 were porn and xxx.
The document also said that all of the net filters on the market except for one block file sharing software. That filter is Mcafee's Internet Guard dog which now I believe is called Internet Security Suite. Although it looks like the latest edition really bogs down windows xp. I'm not sure if there is a MAC or Linux version.

Hollywood

2007-07-05T12:41:00.000-04:00

I was at work and had to listen to a woman keep commenting on different photos of Hollywood actresses. Negative comments about these actresses bodies. When she would speak about these women, a new emotion was born in me. It was a mixture of pain and hurt from that woman, and disgust and anger that she was judging these women by their appearance.

I realized that this woman has probably gone through a lot of pain and hurt from this world judging her only on looks. Maybe many terrible men have used and abused her for sex and money, with absolutely no intentions of keeping any kind of relationship once they get tired of getting what they want. Maybe her girlfriends dumped her for in their opinion a better looking friend.

The dark side of her comments is that what the world has protruded on this woman has now come full circle and the very thing that she hates, she is now throwing at these magazines and possibly other people at work, home, or even friends.

"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:19.

Just imagine if the world judged on character instead of appearance.............

Suffering

2007-07-04T08:52:00.000-04:00

On June 3rd my daughter Jorai Mae passed away stillborn at 6 months. I just haven't found the words to fully express my sorrow over this tragedy. This morning I am scouring the net for information to help me better understand why Jorai didn't get a chance to live in this world.

"The universe is a soul making machine, and part of that process is learning, maturing, and growing through difficult and challenging and painful experiences. The point of our lives in this world isn't comfort, but training and preparation for eternity." - Lee Strobel

The universe is a soul making machine and Jorai just didn't have to go through the difficult, challenging, and painful experiences of life. I'd rather have GOD raise her up anyway :-). He will do a much better job than I.

Below is a sermon on why suffering has to be a part of life, it's long, but it gives me some understanding. I don't like it, but it makes sense. I still don't like it, but then if I were GOD and created the gears of the world, my system would of been based on pleasure not pain. From what I have seen and experienced in my lifetime, I have absolutely no faith in pleasure accomplishing anything worthwhile.

                  "THE PROBLEM OF SUFFERING"

                     Why Does God Allow It?

INTRODUCTION

1. There is a question which is as old as the first tear, and as recent
as the lastest newscast:

"Why?  Why does God allow suffering, sorrow, heartache, and death,
even among His own children?"

This question was asked by Job, and has been asked by every person
who has walked upon the face of the earth and who believes in God

I. SUFFERING KEEPS THIS WORLD FROM BECOMING TOO ATTRACTIVE

A. THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT WE ARE "PILGRIMS" AND "SOJOURNERS"...
 1. This world is not truly our home
 2. God has prepared something better for us
 3. Consider the following passages:  1 Pe 2:11; He 13:14; 2 Co
    5:1,5

B. IF THERE WAS NO SUFFERING...
 1. No one would want to leave this temporary world
 2. No one would desire the "eternal" home, and therefore prepare
    themselves for it

C. BUT THE AFFAIRS OF THIS LIFE ARE SO ORDERED...
 1. That the world soon loses its attraction
 2. Most young people may want to live forever...
    a. But by the time a man reaches his "three score and ten"
    b. He begins to desire something better

II. SUFFERING CAN BRING OUT OUR BEST

A. THE MAN WHOSE WIFE WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED SAW THIS...
 1. In the constant support by friends
 2. In the preparation of food
 3. In the financial support

B. WE SEE THIS OCCURING QUITE FREQUENTLY...
 1. In times of natural disaster
 2. When someone loses a house to fire, tornado, etc.
 3. In times of terminal illness

C. THIS MAY BE ONE REASON WHY EARLY CHRISTIANS REJOICED IN THEIR
 TRIALS...
 1. They understood that tribulations could develop character
 2. As Paul wrote in Ro 5:3-4

III. SUFFERING GIVES AN OCCASION TO SILENCE THE ENEMIES OF GOD

A. REMEMBER THE STORY OF JOB?
 1. Satan wanted to prove God wrong about Job, that he served God
    only because God had blessed him
 2. But Job's patience under suffering silenced Satan!

B. LIKEWISE, GOD DESIRES THAT WE SILENCE "FOOLISH MEN" - 1 Pe 2:15
 1. Who ridicule the teachings of Christ as foolishness
 2. Who say we are Christians only for what good we can get out of
    it

C. BY PATIENTLY ENDURING, OR DOING GOOD IN TIMES OF SUFFERING...
 1. The value of being Christians really shines through
 2. In the faith we have that sustains us in suffering, and in the
    love we show towards those who suffer

IV. SUFFERING MAKES US APPRECIATIVE

A. WE ALL RECEIVE SO MANY GOOD THINGS IN THIS LIFE...
 1. It is easy for us to become prone to take them for granted
 2. Instead of receiving them with gratitude toward God

B. SUFFERING CAN HELP US APPRECIATE MORE FULLY...
 1. Good health
 2. Good friends, and a loving family
 3. A good example of how suffering can make one appreciative is the
    apostle Paul when he was in prison - cf. Ph 1:3-8

V. SUFFERING MAKES US MORE DEPENDENT UPON GOD

A. TOO OFTEN, WE THINK OURSELVES SELF-SUFFICIENT...
 1. "But when a dozen of the most skilled men in their profession
    tell you they have done all they can and it is completely out
    of their hands..."
 2. "...you suddenly realize how much you depend on God."

B. AT NO OTHER TIME...
 1. Is one more likely to realize that we depend upon God for our
    very breath!
 2. As Paul proclaimed:  "in Him we live and move and have our
    being" - Ac 17:28

VI. SUFFERING HELPS PURIFY US

A. CONSIDER THE IMPORT OF TWO PASSAGES...
 1. 1 Pe 1:6-7 - Suffering can be like fire purifying gold
 2. Ja 1:2-5 - Maturity can be developed through trials

B. TO ILLUSTRATE HOW, CONSIDER THE MAN WHOSE WIFE WAS INJURED...
 1. "Many times I searched my own life during these past six weeks
    in order to confess my every failure and shortcoming to God..."
 2. "I surely did not want my own sins to stand in the way of God
    hearing my prayers for Jane..."
 3. "It was absolutely necessary to be truthful with God and myself,
    and I am a better man today than before."

VII. SUFFERING MAKES US SYMPATHETIC

A. PAUL WROTE OF THIS VALUE OF AFFLICTION...
 1. To the church at Corinth, in his second epistle - 2 Co 1:3-4
 2. It helps us to be better able to comfort others in their
    affliction

B. WE MAY THINK WE CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH SOMEONE...
 1. But until we have been there personally, there is no true
    understanding of their hurt
 2. Experiencing suffering...
    a. Makes us more likely to "weep with those who weep" - Ro
       12:15
    b. Better enables us to serve others

VIII. SUFFERING TEACHES US HOW TO PRAY

A. WE ALL MAY BE A PRAYING PEOPLE...
 1. We pray at the right times
 2. We pray for the right things

B. BUT IN THE MIDST OF SUFFERING WE LEARN HOW TO PRAY...
 1. "Earnestly"
 2. "Perseveringly"
 3. "With groanings which cannot be uttered" (Ro 8:26)

C. AS OUR FRIEND SAID:
 1. "I have been a praying man since I became a Christian.  But
    never like this."
 2. "I have learned more about prayer in the past six weeks than
    in the previous twenty years.  My prayers will be different
    for the rest of my life."

CONCLUSION

1. Can we begin to see why a RIGHTEOUS and MERCIFUL God would allow
suffering, even to the innocent?

2. If we look at suffering purely from MAN'S point of view, we will not
understand why suffering is permitted

3. But remember what God said through the prophet Isaiah:

8  For my thoughts [are] not your thoughts, neither [are] your ways
my ways, saith the LORD. 9  For [as] the heavens are higher than the
earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than
your thoughts. (Isaiah 55)

4. When we look at suffering from GOD'S point of view, from the viewpoint
of His plans for us in preparation of eternity, then we can begin to
appreciate why He would allow suffering to occur...

5. And never forget those words of Paul, which reminds us of God's never
failing love:

35  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? [shall]
tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness,
or peril, or sword? 36  As it is written, For thy sake we are killed
all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him
that loved us. 38  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life,
nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor
things to come, 39  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in
Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8)