Does Porn hurt a Marriage?

"One of the first things porn, or any lust for that matter does when we engage in it, is disconnect us from our wives, or any true intimacy for that matter. This happens because of two little words called guilt and shame. The Bible says that to even look at another woman with lust is adultery (Matt. 5:28). I believe this is because the same chemical and psychological processes are at work when we lust as when we actually have sex. One inescapable result of engaging in porn and lust is that a wall is immediately built between our wives and us; whether we feel it, acknowledge it or not. When this type of cheating continues, we quickly replace "intimacy" with "intensity" as our definition of what makes "good sex."

Since our wife's primary language of intimacy is relational, and we are disconnected, we are not able to connect in this manner. Further, because our primary language of intimacy is sexual and we are now in a spiral toward more and more intense sexual pleasure through porn and lust, a vicious cycle begins. We seek more and more "intense" sexual experiences--for which the internet is a perfect delivery mechanism for awhile--which we cannot get from our wives because we are disconnected from them emotionally and spiritually. The vast majority of men are not even aware this has happened. Disconnected becomes normal.

Congratulations... we are on our way toward sexual addiction.

As men we must be focused on sexual purity, not allowing any of our sexual energy be wasted on anyone but our wives. After all, the Bible tells us that our sexuality is first of all God's (Rom. 12:1), then our wife's (1 Cor. 7:4) and lastly ours. And we must be focused on meeting her needs for intimacy which are relational. For this is God's plan (Ecc. 9:9). As we do this, we will find that our sexual desire will redirect to our wives and grow significantly. It may take a month or two but it will happen. Try it. You may be surprised how well this works."

~Stuart Vogelman http://www.fatherville.com/Articles/Spiritual_Dads/Porn:_Does_It_Hurt_A_Marriage?/