Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Dependence on Love

One of my first emotions in the hospital after Asher was born was the feeling that I would choose to die in a heartbeat if it meant that my son could live. It was so strong. I keep trying to relate this emotion to how GOD had to sacrifice His only Son so that I could truly be forgiven for my countless trespasses against Him throughout my life. I can't, because all I can think about is how not worth it I am.

But at one time I too was as little as Asher resting in my father's arms and he too felt these same emotions in the hospital. Something tells me its an extremely common emotion with every new father and mother. I believe this is how GOD reminds us of his continual love and how it can't be based on actions, because all Asher has done is poop, cry, eat and sleep. Asher is completely dependent on Kim and I to keep him alive. From the day we are born GOD shows us how He wants us to be dependent on Him. He'll take care of us, but we need to continually ask for his guidance.

This whole time Asher has been sleeping in my arms. He's constantly been rustling around trying to either get comfortable or is slowly waking up as I go back and forth from one and two hands typing. He even managed to throw himself out of my arms onto the couch. I'm glad I'm sitting on the couch. I think whether we ask for God's guidance, or not, we're all infants throughout our lives and GOD is trying to type with two hands.

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